Keep Holding On
by Dautr abr du Sundavar
Summary: A sonfic to Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On." Gilan has recently graduated, and is having a bit of a panic attack. Oneshot, NO SLASH. R&R please.


**A/N: I realized the other day that I had only been concentrating on my chapter fics, so I decided to write a new one-shot for you. This is a little thing to the song "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne. Yeah...just go with it :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranger's Apprentice or "Keep Holding On"**

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Gilan sat alone in his kitchen, chin in his hand, a cup of coffee getting cold in front of him. He sighed. Things were too different from the little cabin where he had spent the last five or so years. A log fell in the fireplace as he cast his mind hundreds of kilometers away and three months into the past.

_You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know  
I'll take your hand_

_It was Graduation Day, and he was sitting on the porch staring at his silver oakleaf amulet. Halt came up behind him, but said nothing. The pair remained silent, until Gilan finally burst. "I'm not ready for this!" he exclaimed. Halt moved forward to sit beside his now-former apprentice and raised a questioning eyebrow. Gilan sighed. "I'm not ready for my own fief. I'm not ready to be by myself. I just – I'm not ready!"_

_When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No, I won't give in_

_Halt leaned back on his elbows. "Gil," he said quietly, "you are ready. Despite what you think now, you're ready." Gilan nearly snorted, but kept quiet. "I've taught you everything I can; you're more than ready to take on the silver."_

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you._

"_But Halt," Gilan protested, "I'm not -" he bit his tongue. Halt raised an eyebrow at him. "Not...what?" Gilan sighed, silently cursing his outburst._  
"_I'm not you," he whispered._

_There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through._

In his cabin now, Gilan closed his eyes. He still didn't feel ready, still didn't feel up to the task set before him without the comforting presence of his mentor beside him. He had been here for three months, and he still didn't have the hang of it. A single tear tracked its way down his cheek.

_So far away  
I wish you were here  
Before it's too late  
This could all disappear_

_Halt sighed and glanced at his apprentice. "You don't have to be," he said, more gentle than Gilan had ever heard him. "You just have to be Gilan. Be the man you are, and the Ranger I trained you to be, and you'll do just fine. Besides, this isn't the last time we'll see each other." Halt allowed himself a small smile. "Did you forget about the Gathering?"_

_Before the doors close  
And it comes to an end  
With you by my side I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend  
Yeah, yeah!_

_Gilan sighed. "No, but...it just won't be the same," he whispered. "I'll be by myself, and I'll have to make life-and-death decisions, and I'll have to -" he stopped as Halt laid a hand on his arm._

_"Do you really think you're going to have to do that every day?" the older man asked rhetorically. "No. You're not being plunged into this cold, Gil. You'll start off with a fief that doesn't get much action. It'll be boring, yes, but do you really want to start your career as a graduate Ranger with a trouble spot?" Gilan smiled ruefully and shook his head._

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you._

He took a drink of coffee, grimacing at the temperature. "Serves me right," he muttered. He got up to get more, still thinking about his conversation with Halt.

_There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through._

"_Thanks, Halt," he said._

_But his eyes gave him away. "You still don't think you're ready?" Halt asked. Gilan hesitated, then shook his head. Halt sighed. "Gil, is there anything I can say to convince you? Anything at all?"_

_The younger man thought a moment. "I don't know," he said at last. "My head believes you, but my heart isn't so sure."_

_Hear me when I say  
When I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change  
Nothing's gonna change destiny.  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

_Halt leaned over and gripped Gilan's arm tightly. "Then tell your heart to open up and face facts," he said fiercely. "You are ready for this. You can do this. This is what you spent the last five years training for. Crowley believes in you, and Gilan -" he looked him straight in the eye "-so do I."_

_La da da da  
La da da da  
La da da da da da da da da_

_Gilan blinked and swallowed several times. He would not cry in front of Halt, he told himself. "Thanks," he managed to say once he was sure his voice would be steady. He smiled. "I guess there was something you could say."_

_Keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
Cause you know I'm here for you  
I'm here for you_

_Halt released Gilan and gave him one if his rare smiles. "Besides, it's not like you can't come visit occasionally," he said. Gilan brightened, and Halt scowled. "Just promise me you'll wait at least a month," he said with mock severity. "Otherwise I think I'll go mad._

_"More so than you already are?" Gilan responded cheekily as he darted away, out of reach._

_There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through_

Standing in front of the stove now, Gilan recalled Halt's shake of his head as Gilan rejoined the party. Suddenly he missed not just the older Ranger's guidance, but also, Heaven help him, his irascibility. "Who'd've known," Gilan muttered, "missing the old man's attitude."

_Keep holding on  
Keep holding on_

Gilan came to a decision. He put down the coffeepot and banked the fire. Grabbing his cloak and weapons, he left the house to saddle Blaze. The horse looked at her master curiously. "We're going to see Halt," the human announced.

_There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
Cause you know we'll make it through  
We'll make it through_

Several hundred kilometers away, Halt was just making his first pot of coffee when Abelard whinnied a greeting to someone. Halt frowned thoughtfully. It was awfully early in the morning for someone to be out and about. He was still musing about the strangeness of a visitor when a very familiar pair of feet stumbled up the steps, and their owner knocked on the door. He opened the door to find his former apprentice standing on the porch. "Should've known you'd be here soon," he grumped. At least, he planned to grump – it's hard to be ill-tempered when someone is hugging the air out of your lungs.

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**A/N: Please review! I love to hear my reader's thoughts on my work, just like any other author.**

**Edit: Okay, this was written quite a while ago, so I've revised it. No plot changes, just formatting and whatnot :)**


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